okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
