I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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