Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
