We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
