I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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