It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
