last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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