I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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