Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
