So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
