sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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