discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
