Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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