I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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