i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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