You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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