He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
