i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Randomize
