I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
