She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
