i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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