i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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