You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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