Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
