Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
