1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
