if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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