God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
