Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
