I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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