There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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