OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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