I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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