So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
