Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
