i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
