his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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