normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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