my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
