Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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