This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
