I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
