She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
