i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize