Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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