I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize