Your mouth is God's brothel.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
