I bet he comes in French.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
