Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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