she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
