I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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