I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
