No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You don't make any sense
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