Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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