Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
