Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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