I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The uberlube is also flammable
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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