I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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