Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
