We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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