Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i barfeds in our rink
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
